What do you do 
when folks that s'posed 
to protect you

say die

Part 1

Roll of Dice

more sides than the standard
cause these human men

1-6 
or more

Orisha reference(s) in the penning
threat(s) of violence pending

reverence ain't protection

an oracle once
but then ongoing

loving you is a gamble

Part 2

these eyes are skilled at
discerning weather patterns

storm sensitive

strive to watch no follow
standing with a tension

avoid knee drops cause
some thems kill

some them skill 
hold fist knife gun

hold neck
close airways

say you know
you like it

Part 3

Domination
power plays

our pains
their pleasures

though we are all losing
in the loosing
the loosening 

of dignity

from our jaws 
&
other orifices

Part 4

multiple inches at a time

"doors" knocked on or
torn from hinges completely

rapping instincts

fight
flight
freeze

(fawn)

each of us have our own
reactions to survive

leaving ones praying
for sweet sleep

release

hope we get home 
safe

Part 5

four to five
9 or more

multiple inches at a time

disregarding what 
one can handle in the 

russsshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

touches that are 
remembered through 
the body

record keeper(s)
archival architect(s)

our technology short
circuiting to handle
the weight of the 

mourning

for some it's if
for other some 
we glad when 
see next

morning

Part 6

so many virgins 
so many sacrifices

tender flesh
blooded young

with all this experience
what will become of us

flint strike
edge of blade

spark wick
candle flames

night lights
have other 
meanings

when you're trying
to escape night
terrors

Part 7

but the monsters
(plural possibilities)

master manipulators
molesters of minds

they in day too
live out loud n' proud

cognitive dissonance

justified and satisfied
and they right (too)

cause permission was granted
by society slanting side eyes

towards us

to leave us accused 
dangerous plans used

arousal nonconcordance

hearts & spirits support us?
mined for resources raw

Part 8

plot twist

(b/c) many still think a
noose needs to be rope

when in fact all you need
to do is exchange the second
letter of that word for an A

(Rape)

call me good student
give me good grades

Part 9

gray zone
survival

some call it sexual assault
to lessen the lesson of 
that blow (at least)

a softening you 
didn't ask for

but they still call 
you tease

even as we know 
no speak on that
secret word

cause ones no react
like yell fire

then shouts and sirens
respond with a swiftness

but that word make you
ask others forgiveness

for asking even to listen
be kind witness

Part 10

disassociation 
to be high functioning
might be a form of prayer

compartmentalizations of the core
malignant tumors caustic and cancerous

blades used to cut off all our hair
to avoid cutting other things

wringing hands to avoid wrists
feel knots that may never save
twisting in stomach

begging
to stop
talking

the
terrors

Part 11

speak no evil
hear no evil
see no evil

to flee 
to escape

to look to the heavens on high
drugs alcohol other ways to get high

medicating against madness 
Truth so full of pain

sometimes we are forced to lie
in other ways than on the bed
floor ground where we were 
ground into dust to be blown
away by winds

permanent scarification
with pretty colors one way
that we reclaim our Selves

Part 12

it smells like ozone
grief is ocean

maelstrom

lights lost
from our ayes

snatched
stuffed
silenced

absorbed into clouds
cover stories 

creators colluding with thoughts
that i don't want to follow

dreams I wish I didn't have 
to acknowledge

collisions that cursive can't hide
cautionary tales that calligraphy
can't make pretty nor contain
accurately

opportunity for new life 
through our sacrifice

electrocution from sky
drop execution orders

elocution through non-
verbal communication(s)

if sound 
then shouting is often the last intimacy
before the final silence

Part 13

Penance to maintain pride 

kill me and my kind
with a quickness

hide the evidence
appeal to that mass
popularity complex

walk down the street 
wondering if today will be
that day

the end.

death waiting 
a round corners
somewhere

{Black} Man

brotha

i see you 
contemplating
your own mortality

in the matrix

thus i understand 
how a part of your negotiation 
could be the elimination of me*

Assassination Attempts Actualizing

No crows though
there may be murder

the negation of constellations
from different depths of space

Part 14

the time it takes between tunes

code switching between
safety and freedom
code switching between
creation and enslavement

between

I am
that word.

Tranny to be torched
burned at the stakes
cause the stakes are high.

Faggot 
a bundle to be urned
a burning unearned

sacrificial lamb

and yet Christ is 
always compared to 
or known as a cisgender man

how many crosses are we asked
tasked to be bear

bare backs breaking
beat down broken 

with these same instruments?

the audacity of these adornments
told we should be honored
to be so lucky
fortunate

to hold these
thus them

(Brothas)

We looking at you 
trying to hold back the tears
cause that's often the only way
to hold back the fears over the years

from the years

to avoid suffocation
somehow

so near 
the surface

Part 15

Purpose?

Propositions of

Patriarchy. 

Trauma is 

an excellent teacher

 

I have learned much 

of what it means to be man 

from their thorough tutelage.

Part 16

Snap. 

Crackle. 

Pop. 


this culture say truth: 

affection and abuse 

same same. 

wanting former 

means accepting 

latter


ladder lean against wall 

shrinking tall to small

step under shadow 

self reflection 


mirror shatter 

pieces scatter

7 years bad luck 

even if tough 


might end up

all whites pearly 

in casket early

Sharp


It’s all you may ever get. 

Feel blessed at what 

you’re given. 


sometimes, they’ll 

 even call it love.


Part 17

Questions unanswerable? 

Questions unanswered. 


Where is the space for us 

to call all of us to the table 

of our collective brilliance? 


Transcending the chains 

of the masters confederation. 

Condescension 

condensation, 

dropping drips down 

the sides of the sweet tea. 

Glass proclaimed as god.


Clear rather than black. 

No obsidian fa no way. 

Existing in the crossroads of the south, 

finding that to be a deep bitter kind of funny. 


Ash on the tongue, 

soft and furious. 


Rage under feet 

promising 

to be all consuming. 


Eruption. 

Excavation. 

Exhaustion. 


Sugars denaturalized 

to appeal to whiteness 

with whiteness, 

decontexualized  

injected with poison

framed as pedophiles

our tender flesh 

used as leather 

skin as paper 

and told we is perversion.


Part 18

Even when seen 

as origin stories. 

Even when known by 

the eyes of grandmothers mothers. 

Ancestral wisdom 

widening the ways 

that we walk 

cause the family 

needing more 

twitching switching 

different kinds of witching 

cause we call it what it is

to diversify destinies 

and we got all of that.  

Flavor and fullness 

flipping scripts 

from scrubbing floors 

to ceilings, 

touching toes 

Freedom songs

in our flexibility 

joyous ness in our 1 2 step, 

holy and sanctified, 

salvation salivating cause 

we got savory and sweet 

in the solutions of our cook pots. 

You’ve got me* fucked up 

if you think that I won’t call in 

all of them receipts while I sip that rum, 

cause we be runnas (man) , 

and other libations as needed. 

Part 19

Sacred though 

has long been a word 

that caused chaos 

thanks to those 

that would claim it 

as one path only. 

move the c for vision

 scared. 

Add an r 

show inscriptions 

on the skin 

scarred. 

Blinded and bonded 

by the color we all share 

blood, red. 

Eat flesh every Sunday 

to refresh the palate. 

Can never get 

nor be given enough. 

Always hungry 

All Ways Hunger

Cannabilizing our own: 

another survival technique. 

Who taught you 

to like how we taste?

Starvation logic. 

Scarcity and scraps

 presented as abundance 

and all the while choking: 

them we’s 

tripping ankles 

in the weeds   

But

whose perspective is that,

anyway? 

What power and privilege

 to position somethings 

(also know as people 

also known as insert what we were 

before every new legal classification) 

as less than

because it or they 

doesn’t match the vision. 

Fuck you. 

Coordination is key, 

a chain linking across generations, 

oceans and land masses. 

This constellation of fabulous is hereditary,

 I and we have been looking good for eons. 

Radical Recognition. 

That is why some fear us. 

Feeling claustrophobic

in the limitations of certain 

perhaps perspectives 

even while we are told to persevere 

because that’s what we do.

 And 

what if we

and you

and I said

FUCK!

 

Extended every sound 

in protest and proclamation. 

What if if turned to when 

(it had happened) 

and when turned now 

and now turned to look

 you in the eyes. 

All of them. 

More than one may hold

 in any instant. 

The vibrations creating trembling

 in to the traction 

ruins, 

roots where we real eyes 

the magnificence and magnitudes 

gotting us on our knees 

professing need. 

Fuck. 

Part 20

Brotha. 

I see you 

and

I will only hold you 

if you hold me 

and 

even then 

I may still make space 

for the healing. 

Highest destinies. 

Life placed delicately 

definitely 

determinedly 

in my mouth. 

Portal. 

Blasting me 

back and wards 

to the ground, 

words in tensities 

while I feel the rising 

raging rebellion 

of your various elements. 

Fires, 

Waters, 

Earths, (&) 

Airs. 

Even as you may not care 

about any said above or 

more yet to come

Spirit calls me 

to celebrate you 

and so shall I do.

 

Spirit calls me 

to  acknowledge for 

the roles of accountability. 

Spirit calls me 

so I 

answer. 

What actions you take 

will determine 

how we evolve. 

Tests of our resolve, 

all y’all , 

many of us cussin. 

Swervin and curvin. 

As those of us 

who have celebrated 

the crowns 

and continue to do so, 

as those of us 

who have harbored 

the doubts into boats, 

as those of us 

who have called 

for the breathing of breathes 

at widths and depths 

not always respected. 

I see you brotha. 

An æther in between. 

Breathing breathes 

in the backs of grounds, 

observing how you love. 

Feeling a mic drop 

as appropriate 

yet there is more to speak 

more to write, 

another iteration 

again addressing 

our rights.  

Part 21

Interactions 

Passive or active 

there are decisions 

to be determined

dedications to be 

designed and enacted. 

some y’all say 

but not enough y’all act. 

#shesafewesafe  

hashtags of too many of us already ancestors, 

elevated and otherwise, 

regarded as trash, 

receptacles of lusts and hatred, 

misplacements, 

Ions in de stress, 

dis ease 

rampaging rampant

Internalizations 

deep depression

suicidal ideations 

complex inferiority 

conquest celebrations 

Zoe’s red 

dark deep

lipstick worn 

in memoriam 

Power & Peace

some y’all say 

but not enough y’all act. 

#saymyname

#sayhername 

Shamed and blamed 

for your actions, 

ain’t got nothin to do with We. 

How many grrls, 

womxn, 

femmes, 

our people, 

fierce 

because we have to Phoenix, 

have to be cut down 

like fields 

before y’all woke enough 

to care, 

tear away from the yoke

that cloak ya vision 

even after say 

full faith tithes made?

How many more survivors are needed

for this problem to be treated?

What colonizer are you 

still worshipping? 

Do you enjoy the sensations

of whips and chains? 

Does your aggression come

from forced submission?

Are you

Self aware? 

How are you 

making this be?

I cannot yet say 

I believe you 

and mean it. 

Blake’s red 

bold bright 

lipstick worn 

in memoriam 

Peace & Power

Wherever this goes next:

 just know you will get credit 

as a witness and inspirer. 

For your information and 

past present and future references: 

We hope that you would aspire 

to conspire for the freedom of the land, 

and the liberation of All of our people. 

And no 

we won’t call all y’all Kings. 

Because

there are much more noble words 

like friend. 

We hope 

that you would choose 

ones like that 

so we can all 

stop pretending 

distortions caused 

by all these contortions–

 

got nothing to do with art. 

Faking 

is not how you make it 

guttural 

real talk prayers 

begin in the gut 

and either work their ways down

into souls 

through soles to streets 

or contrast up spines 

to birth themselves 

throat to mouth 

as womb or tomb 

to be determined 

vocal cords 

humming 

strumming 

tracing teeth 

and gums 

bloody shattered potentiality

thick in the taste 

observing if y’all be ones 

to listen 

sweat glistening 

cause nerves ain’t steel 

real talk coming 

guttural cry 

gathering wings 

flying in six directions 

thrive or more 

guttural cry 

gathering wings 

flying in six directions 

thrice or more 

as this is also ceremony 

Part 22

moaning 

in the membrances 

growing into the meanings

that we were once to young to comprehend 

so many membranes 

torn

tears and tears 

same letters 

such different 

Abort that mission 

celebrate life 

cut a different cord 

stop fulfilling that prophecy 

commission new controls and objectives 

stroll in the sun 

echo clack back 

to collective consciousness 

in the AUM of this oneness 

you can make home 

rather than play house

 ignite and sustain 

ya flames 

rather than douse them out

 heart beating strong 

steady 

stable 

North Star guidin 

and

the knowing of drums 

confirming ya able 

no fables 

nourishment 

with every head nod 

cause 

them crowns 

those crowns 

these crowns 

birthright  

hard won

Ase o Ase o Ase

Part 23

These words were born in July 2019, inspired by my own experiences, catalysed by the beating and then brutal murder of Muhlaysia Booker. It brought forward many feelings related to being a black TGNC person and so much flooded out because of it. It was a day in the office like any other when the news was posted and it was all too much. To be black, queer, trans and at the intersections– like a volcano these words erupted. Rage, pain, FEAR, desperation. Even though it’s taken on a party lean, PRIDE is still a protest for very good reasons. I will be celebrating by living. For my Self and those who are no longer here for the various reasons they have become ancestors.

[Initial Conception: 07.28.2019 @ 1504]