meditating on pain as light 
the hardest things to let go are dreams 

unmooring me, 
please 

I am seeking the sanctuary of forgiveness 
I am looking for the clarity of connection 

gold nails 
as clarion & 
bastion 

touch me in the waters with sacred 
the storms here are quelling 
and the calm is scaring me 

anesthetization of my existence 

this is what it feels like to block revolution 
core as central space for electrocution 
elocution not dancing 

I have no words to speak to you 
no things to offer as worthwhile 

so I am grasping these chains 
and pouring out the grey matter 

puncture my chest bone as wall to escape 
I am an exquisite corpse in a position of stimulation 

masochism bathing my mouth in gravel 
and licking my gums free of blood 

the red salt of passive anger 
the crown made of visions 
is a crystal palace 

heavy and bright 

my copper roots are tingling 
because all I want is a shot of lightening 

magnetize my soil patterns 
and throw my head back 
in ecstasy 

my body wants to burn with liberation 
this anticlimax of standing still does not pleasure me 

I desire 
to hunt &
writhe 

to pierce your soul 
with the scream of my bite 

to taste 
the essence 
of your trembling 

I desire 
for you 
to paint 
my body 
with fire 

:

douse me 
in honey 
& 
dress me 
in blue smoke 
peacock feathers 
& 
iron

siiaah -- (September 27th, 2016)

:

kjhgfd: some call me primal. because i desire, on a level, to grip by the scruff of necks with teeth, and pounce, and rip and tear, and dominate. is this vengeance against “the man” who becomes any man before me with certain characteristics? possibilities may and do exist. they are not the same. they all share some small shard of his existence. am i hymn too? i hate my self if so. i relinquish these feelings into my canines through prayer, and state come to me for your proper marinations– you will enjoy how i taste and swallow you in the evenings and the afternoons and the mornings and whatever times are mutually agreeable.

this young “man” came inside of me. thrusting, telling me how he would like to be treated in a similar position. earlier that same interaction i felt his real desires as he panted in my ear: hot breathy need to be fully versatile. hot breathy desire to be garden in addition to tool shed; as my fingers went wider and deeper, more thoroughly entering him– his exaltation of more something i have never truly known. brief acknowledgements of having oppositional experiences, wants vs needs, being encouraged to pick one or another depending on aesthetics and assumptions.

how long it has taken me to say he.

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he:

i have no idea how many of those i’ve been with given all the ways that one can be with an other (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, visual, virtual, etc. a combination thereof). Every COMMA is a declarative that is not a joke. And that, is why it is entirely hilarious– look at all of that illegality.

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.

oh look. an uh oh Oreo sandwich. i just couldn’t help myself apparently. a little copy, a little paste, a little willing to be even that much more dangerous on the wild side: just being honest, after a fashion.

:

December 15th, 2021

PRONOUNS: FAMILY + T[HE]Y + SHE

ISA LEE LOVE JONES RENÉ